Showing You Off (Humphrey)

Humphrey hurried after Alicia, the potion affecting his mind was slowing his brain processes a little bit so his reactions to things were slower than what they had been. "I'm coming as fast as I can, Alicia. What's the big rush?" he asked, jogging a little to catch up the rest of the way with her and looking around. Was she taking him to meet somebody and were they late? He had no idea where Alicia was taking him, but she was smart and he trusted her.

Humphrey nodded at that, and reached out a hand for hers before kissing her on the cheek as he smiled. "Awesome, sounds like fun. Kedzie never did it, so...I just didn't know. Do you think it would get the point across that we're having way hotter sex than everyone here if we made out in a broom cupboard? That should get the rumor mill churning." he commented, looking around to see if anyone was around to spread that rumor if they found one.

Humphrey nodded as she explained it, things always made so much more sense when she told him the reasoning behind things. “Oh, okay that makes sense. But if we’re fuck buddies shouldn’t we fuck in a broom cupboard to make it seem more realistic?” he countered, starting to get hard at the prospect of it.

Humphrey thought about that for a moment and figured it made sense. Alicia was very fashion-conscious, clean, and always smelled like either a flower or a fruit. He wasn't sure if that was her perfume, some girl magic boys never learned, or just a different type of shampoo that she used on her. No matter what it was though, it definitely didn't match with that sort of thing. "That makes sense. "How about we head to The Three Broomsticks there. Doesn't matter if you're an adult or a kid at Hogwarts, everybody goes there and would see us having a butterbeer together." he reasoned.

Humphrey thought about things for a minute when they saw the three broomsticks was unusually empty. "Wait, what about Madam Puddifoot's? It's a super coupley restaurant so even if we're not one if we're seen in the vicinity people would assume we are. It would definitely piss Kedzie off because I know she wanted to go there with me." he suggested, hoping his idea would please Alicia. She was a tough one to satisfy, but it would never stop him from trying.

"Right, sorry." he said, a little disappointed at how mean she was being. However, Humphrey was still grateful to be on the hottest witch in school's arm, so tried to play the role well. His arm was around her waist since she didn't want him to hold her hand. "Hey, do you want to get some sweets at Honeydukes?" he asked her about twenty minutes of just sitting there for show and barely talking at all.

"Of course, dear. Be back in a bit." he told her, and went into a popular shop. Humphrey made a point of saying the words 'My girlfriend, Alicia wants' the whole time he was there as he picked out a few different things. Most of it he shrunk and pocketed, leaving a few sugar quills, some Bertie Bott's every flavor beans, and a lollipop that changed flavors and color as you licked it in a bag that he handed to her upon returning. "I hope you like them, had to guess on what you'd like." he admitted.

"You're welcome, gorgeous. Do you want to go for a walk around the town after our sugary snack?" he asked, pulling out one of his chocolate frogs he'd gotten for himself. Humphrey was a little bummed they weren't doing anything more physical so far as making out or sex today, but he'd be alright if they kept busy. It was just hard not to think about how damn smoking hot she was. Kedzie was attractive, but she wasn't as polished or fashion aware as what Alicia was, and that made a difference.

"Of course I can get you something, darling. I'll make a run to the three broomsticks and be back with some butterbeers." he told her, leaning over to give her an exaggerated kiss on the cheek for show before going off to find the drinks. The barkeep was quick and he was soon back with a bottle for each of them, the caps already twisted off. "Here you go, beautiful." he said, handing hers over as he sat back down.

Humphrey smiled when she thanked him and was about to speak when they were interrupted by a frenzy of two girls and a new piece of gossip. His head moved back and forth like a person watching a tennis math as his potion-addled mind tried to keep up with what it all meant. It wasn't until Alicia turned on him with anger burning in his eyes that his brain started to really function.

"What? Of course I don't know anything, I haven't even talked to her since the whole lunch debacle. She is avoiding me and I've been with you all the time." he pointed out, which was one thing he knew she wouldn't really be able to argue because she'd been there. "We need to do what I've been telling you all day and go make out somewhere public, make it look like we're so into each other we can't even stop for a trip to Hogsmeade. They might be cute, but you're the most irresistible girl at Hogwarts and need to work it." he told her.

Humphrey had no idea that the hot or not list had existed until that moment, let alone where girls had ranked on it. One thing he did know, though...was that making out was not going to cut it at this point. "Alicia...sex in the shrieking shack on a Hogsmeade day for students would certainly send a message." he pointed out, moving closer to her. "Especially if your friends happened to spread the rumor it was happening and you exit all shaky after some hot sex." he suggested.

Humphrey really liked Alicia, but even with the potion it didn't stop him from starting to get a little annoyed about how she was ignoring him. He wanted to be her center of attention, not random boys who posted a list of who they wanted to fuck the most. He was about to say something when she turned and kissed him. The kiss drove any ill thoughts about her right out the window and he just gave a dazed nod. "Yeah, I'll see you later Alicia." he agreed, grabbing his sweets and snacking on a chocolate frog as he went back to enjoy the rest of his day in Hogsmeade.